I know I am writing after almost a year…. But I’ve been busy and sad. I am extremely determined to complete this blog post before I touch my stolen chicken wings.
Just a moment ago I was thinking of something I said to someone I loved. We were definitely special for each other (or so I think!). We spent every moment with each other (over the distance) and loved it. We knew it was going to end and things were going to change. I knew nothing was going to work out. My ‘forceful, possessive, intense, passionate’ self would not let me give up (I am an ass). I never ever wanted to let go off him, let go off the thoughts, let go off whatever little we had.
But somehow I knew he was going to leave…that he wasn’t made for me… that we were not meant to be with each other… that I was going to have a very tough time giving him up. So once, after being angry with this ‘thoughtful’ part of my brain I picked up the call and said “So I know you are looking for someone special and I know we cannot be together. I think I take a lot of space in your life, like a whole lot. I have hijacked your life. So what say we stop this and go back to our lives… and live a real life?” He said I was being stupid and this wasn’t a reason to stop talking.
This memory came back to me a minute ago for no reason. I was thinking if I was right then or if I am right now. I am wondering if someone can become so important for you (or vice versa) that you do not have a spot for anyone else. I have seen that happening. Sometimes to accommodate someone you gotta move.
I wonder if someone can hijack your life so badly that you do not have time to think about anyone else!
I wonder if someone means so much to you that life without that ‘someone’ is meaningless!
And the worst part is that you may or may not end up with this fascinating person.
I don’t know. Life is weird. But I always wonder… if someone is not going to end up with you why would you meet him/her? For experiences, lessons or a great time!?
In the end… I think I just cannot let go.
