So recently a friend of mine got married. He was engaged for
6 months. Just a week after his wedding his wife changed her name on facebook
and it included my friend’s name as her middle name. Yes, it is very common in
the society and is something that is ‘supposed’ to be done. But my ego ceased
to agree. The ‘strong, independent, non-girly, career-oriented, non-marry able’
ego in me decided that belongingness is ‘rosy’ only to an extent. The line
should not be crossed. You cannot give up everything you were all at once at
the drop of a garland. You cannot cease to exist just because someone gifted
you a diamond mangalsutra. You cannot leave your friend circle just because you
have to be a part of his. You cannot leave your soft toy behind because you are
supposed to hug him now instead. You cannot sleep on his bed just because his
bed is full sized and now has a beautiful linen.
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold
him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
- Marilyn Monroe
At some level it may become unacceptable for every girl to
be a ‘woman’ and then a ‘wife’. There is a huge difference. Being a ‘woman’ you
always have to walk the path of fire. You cannot even jump to the sides to save
yourself from the burns because there is a valley on one side and a steep,
unscalable mountain on the other. We are expected to ‘sacrifice’ our name,
identity, job, career, life, friends, family, eating habits, drinking habits,
smoking habits and ‘I’ at every walk of life. But every woman has to sacrifice.
The women of earlier generations could do and sacrifice much more but this
generation may not follow the steps. I wonder what has changed us! Maybe past
experiences, education, career, government or God have made us stronger.
I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a
woman in it.
- Marilyn Monroe
I look around to see older girls seeking a master’s degree
for better prospects. None will spend half a crore on her education for a
better husband. Girls around the world are making/have made themselves capable
of conquering the whole world. The mindset and horizon has broadened. The
‘financial dependency’ aspect has reduced greatly so has the ‘emotional
dependency’ aspect. The feeling of ‘I’ has grown and the term ‘female ego’ has
been invented. So earlier the world revolved around ‘the man’ of the house. The
circle has just grown bigger and includes ‘the woman’ of the house too. But
seldom is the ‘female ego’ trying to compete with the ‘male ego’. From what I
see the women are trying to establish themselves independently so that they can
exist with/without men.
Not that I am being a feminist here. But the order of the
world is changing and only for the good.
“Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.”
- Marilyn Monroe
