Sleepless in Seattle - Part 11 - Of secret Live-ins...

So both of you are in love and in a different city/country altogether. You suddenly feel that walking to your apartment every morning is a pain and he wants you around more often. A small idea and you both start living together. What happens when you are secretly living with your guy? So secretly that even your friends don't know...

1. You cannot host parties - Obviously! Hiding your partner's luggage is so painful! You leave one thing outside and everyone knows someone has been staying longer at your apartment than usual.

2. You cannot arrive together at any event - I wonder why but this is true. If you arrive together people would assume that you both were either loitering around together or sleeping together before the dinner/party/event etc.

3. You feel like his wife - So true! You clean the house, cook food, keep tiffins ready, do the dishes and laundry and so on. The list is endless. The guy generally helps but a lot of times it is pretty much you by yourself.

4. Absolute silence - This one is the most important. You just do not talk unless your partner is in front of you. You avoid even the slightest noise when your partner is on a call with his parents/friends/colleagues etc.

5. Litter around - Staying with your partner? Get ready to see chaddis around! Be ready to see your partner's makeup kit, kajal pencil, lip balms, lingeries lying at weird places.

6. With key comes great responsibility - You are good to go if you have 2 keys but if you have just one you have to adjust your schedule according to your partner's. You have to either leave everything and run for your partner in case of emergency or find a safe way to pass on the key to him/her.

7. Habits - You cannot know a person unless you stay with him for a few days. You learn a lot about your partner's likes, dislikes, habits, annoying habits, habits that you can live with, habits that you know you are going to adopt and so on. It is a beautiful experience, though. You can finally decide if you can live with the person forever.

8. You know when your partner lies - This is so true. Because you can observe your partner's body language all the time you know when he/she lies to you. You will also know the topics that make your partner uncomfortable or make them happy. After a while, you can predict their behavior so well (unless your partner is a psycho) that you will know what questions to ask and how they would react to situations and so on.

9. You finally feel like a full-time couple - Dating is fine and so is being in a relationship. But living together is the next level. If the couple is committed it is almost like getting married or maybe a step before that. Living together allows you to know your partner better.

10. You lie so much - You cannot tell anyone that you are living together and sp you literally lie to everyone you know. "Where are you staying right now?" .... "Arre woh ek dost ke ghar pe". You actually get fed up of making excuses. 

P.S: This article is my personal opinion. I am neither for nor against living together. I am not living-in with any guy either. I have a set of beautiful American roommates.

Current thought: Bahut raat ho gayi yar let's sleep

Current song: The Hills (The Weeknd)

Current mood: Sleepy

Sleepless in Seattle - Part 10 - Of high-flying titles, job descriptions and mistakes

Yesterday: Finally I decided to take a shower. My phone never rings and none calls me unless I am in the shower (I bet this is true for a lot of you). As soon as I came out of the shower I checked my phone for no reason and saw a voicemail. I returned the voicemail and Voila! my interview was scheduled for the next day.

Flashback: Around a month ago I received a call from an agency that had no presence on this earth. The recruiting insurance company was a part of the agency or something like that. I still went for the interview for the sake of experience and obviously walked out and refused the offer since it was commission based. This interview call felt fishy too but the company had a good-enough website and an internet presence. Even glassdoor spoke good about it. So I decided to go ahead.

Today:
6:00 AM - My alarm rang. I woke up and decided not to think about him for hours like every day. Instead, I revised a few questions in my mind that I was sure would be asked in the interview. Tell me about yourself, 3 strengths and 3 weaknesses. I could not name 3 weaknesses and my 2nd and 3rd weaknesses were related. Just when my mind was about to wander I decided to wake up and make tea for myself.

6:30 AM - Morning sickness! No, I am not pregnant. The stress has taken a toll and it makes me sick every now and then. I still walked to the kitchen to make tea. My Korean roomie had cooked something the previous night which smelled yummy but my super smell made me puke because of it. Never mind I was fine after 10 minutes.

6:40 AM - Finally started making tea. Brushed my teeth and so on.

7:00 AM - Started ironing clothes... something that I was supposed to do the previous night... but did not do because I was upset because of SOMEONE. I realized how much time I have wasted on him and something that might not ever work out. All this because my mind refuses to give up. Never mind. It took me a really long time to iron my blazer and I could not get it perfect till the end. I have just started learning the tips and tricks of ironing clothes using my very new and fancy iron and it is difficult.

7:40 AM - Finally time to take a dump and shower.

8:00 AM - Nothing can force me out of the shower once I am in... not even an interview. I rushed out and got dressed. This was the time I had decided to leave at and here I was just out of the shower.

8:20 AM - I wore pain (read: formal shoes), locked the door and ran towards the bus stop. Obviously, I could not run and just walk, one step at a time. As soon as I reached the bus-stop I saw a bus going towards Downtown. I had to go to Downtown too was supposed to take the next bus. This bus took the longer route and a hell lot of time to reach the link rail. I realized all this after I boarded the bus. I started calculating the bus stops, time it will take or me to reach the place and so on.

8:45 AM - I saw the bus number signs at every bus stop. The bus that I was supposed to take had the same route according to the signs. I thought it would be a good and a faster idea to get down at the next bus stop and wait for my bus. As soon as this thought entered my mind I got off the bus only to realize that the only bus that came to this route was the bus I got off from. I immediately checked the bus app to check arrivals only to realize that the next bus was 15 minutes later. I wasted 15 minutes of my life standing on the bus-stop because of my stupidity.
At this point, all my planning of reaching on time was ruined. I immediately sent an apology to the HR via email and text. She replied saying it was fine and that they would accommodate. Right when I should have felt happy about it, I realized that I wanted to take a dump again! I mean, my body should know when to send me signals to go and take a dump... certainly not when I am on my way to the interview. I knew I was going to be restless till I reached home.

9:00 AM - The next bus arrived. I was finally on my way.

10:05 AM - After 2 buses, 1 train and 1 uber I finally reached the destination. This place was lesser shady than my flashback interview and everyone was dressed really smart. I quickly calculated that people who wear such smart clothes should either earn well or should have wealthy parents. I was not the only one to be interviewed. The nice girl next to me had already had her first interview and was waiting for her second one.

10:15 AM - I was asked to fill a form after which I was called for an interview by a fairly large person. I want to know if his wife/girlfriend/boyfriend is still alive.

10:20 AM - I was out of my first interview. I thought that was a joke. Never mind. They asked me to wait for the second interview slated at 10:30 AM.

10:30 AM  - Interviewers came around and took a few candidates out for a coffee interview. I was wondering what coffee would do to my tummy which was already in a bad state. I was sure I was going to use their restroom today. I struggled to keep my problems below the surface.

10:35 AM - A very tacky woman, wearing a white hairband, silver-color skirt and silver shoes invited me to her cabin. To me, she came right out of a bar after having drunk and smoked pot all night. She stood out amongst all. She had a perfect figure. I can bet $10 on her smoking pot before/after/during work. I even smelled pot in whoever's cabin that was.
Never mind. The funny part was she asked me 3 strengths and 3 weaknesses and the way I fumbled while answering that question in the morning I fumbled here too. Sometimes, I adore my thought-process.
She showed me numbers, told me what they did, told me the salary structure (there was none). This job was commission-based too. And I still wonder how and why I applied for this job. The title was very lucrative (read: Account Manager) but they wanted their Account Managers to go door-to-door and sell products for the clients. I was appalled at my condition. Oops! I did it again! I decided not to use stupid job sites again and not apply to any marketing and sales positions. I am always going to ask the HR about the job description first and if the position is commission based or salary based. One stupidity wasted my entire day. I felt sorry for myself.

11:30 AM - Third round of interview in which I was told that I was basically required to sell products for the clients. I was like.. WOW! This is the reason I have spent 60 lakhs on my Masters. This interview lasted for 4 minutes.
I walked out, called an uber and after changing trains and buses reached the bus stop.

1:00 PM - The walk from the bus stop to home was the hardest. The shoe-bite ached and I walked half a step at a time. Life was/is being brutal.

I realized the pattern of my life. I never check details in the rush of missing opportunities. And I never care about getting hurt. I just go for it because of some reason. It's as if some force calls me and I just do it. I realized I do something even if there is a 0.001% chance of success... be it a relationship or  a job prospect or anything else in the world. I am not really afraid of failure. I have never been. I have failed so many times in life that failure is routine and success is exceptional.
Never mind. Lesson learned.

Current thought: I wanna go home and sleep. Whatever happened to taking a dump.
Current song: Gun gun guna re
Current place: On-campus job

Sleepless in Seattle - Part 9 - Of tinder and strange love

It was a lazy Sunday morning. I looked at my messed up life. He was on Tinder. Here, I sat in front of him and he cared a f$$k. So I packed my bags, did grocery and came home. After venting out my frustration on my best friend (who was brushing his teeth) I decided to make tea for myself. Like royalty... I sat on my bed tucked inside the comforter... sipping tea... and with all the love...downloaded Tinder.
I decided on one thing... Firang guys only! P.S: I am not being racist/sexist/country-ist here but I just decided to play the field. Obviously, I won't be able to date any men after I get married/committed. Since I have no future whatsoever why should I not? I carefully swiped left. I do not want creepy experiences and so swiped left at every remote hint of creepiness. Some of the bios were interesting. Finally, I really liked this guy and swiped right for him and guess what? It was a match! I immediately ran out and woke up my roommate for the 10th time since this morning. She explained to me what a 'match' actually meant. I mean.. he was an American... why would he 'right swipe' me? So I decided to tweak my bio a little bit and mention my country of origin. Never mind...I don't think that matters... I still got 4 more matches after that within 2 hours of downloading the app. Not to forget the 5 'Super likes' I received... the concept that I again had to learn from my roommate.
And then I saw 'him' on Tinder. And I wanted to right swipe for him (I don't need to mention that). But by mistake and my lack of education about Tinder, I swiped left!!! I was so devastated...but I guess it is fine. Not that I have a chance with him or I don't... I don't know if I do. He is being weird. He is still not clear about what he wants. I know why I am with him.. but... why is he with me? I have not been able to figure out what he wants. I am still waiting for... whatever.
Meanwhile, tinder feels so weird. It is surely not made for me. I am not even going to go for coffee or anything with any of my matches. Ain't happening! I guess I just wanted to get back at him. Love is strange and makes you do stupid things... and I am doing my strange bit.

Current mood: Wants to uninstall Tinder
Current thought: Wants to uninstall Tinder

How to - 1- reduce hair loss (Tried and tested)

While we were trying to work on our project my teammate suddenly complimented me on my hair and I remembered my pathway from 'about to be bald' to 'beautiful hair'. The things that I did/happened to me in the past few months have reduced my hair loss to almost nothing. So the tips below are pretty tried and tested.

1. Reduce stress - The quarter was bad. The courses were wrong. I broke up. I spent my days either coding or crying..but mostly both... coding and crying. I had no clue what was happening to me and was distressed. The India trip just happened to me. Despite India being full of travel and 'groom-hunt', I was pretty de-stressed there. Whenever I would freak out I would calm myself down consciously and try thinking of something else. I tried hard to let go off everything and meditated.

2. Go Protein - Proteins are very important since they are the building blocks of the body. When the hair loss became unbearable I would wash my hair only once a week or once every 5 days to prevent further hair loss. I had lost a hell lot of weight too. To gain weight I started drinking egg-milk-sugar shakes every day. I saw the results in 15 days. My body was happy with the proteins it received and the hair loss reduced considerably. I had tried Whey protein earlier for a month which neither helped me gain weight nor reduce the hair loss. So I am not sure if that would work. But eating meat helps too. Eat anything that is easily available and protein-enriched.

3. Don't skip meals - A nutritious meal is so important! Not eating enough had aggravated my hair loss. Eat something every time you feel hungry. If you stay in the US please try carrying nuts, sandwiches, granola bars if you go out. If you stay in India you have a hell lot of options.

4. Take supplements - A friend of mine suggested the 'Hair, Nails and Skin' medicine that can be bought in any pharmacy here. And I cannot complain. I am sure the supplements helped me too. It has biotin and other anti-oxidants required for hair growth and strength. You can check with your doctor for the same.

5. Oil, massage and clean - Make sure you oil your hair (for an hour or overnight) before you wash them. Hot oil head massage relieves stress too. You may use whatever oil you wish to but I stuck to the normal parachute one.

Dandruff can also be a big reason for hair loss. If the case stands true for you then you should probably consult a skin specialist and ask him/her to prescribe you a good medicated anti-dandruff shampoo. I had one from my last trip to India and that's what I used. Keep your brushes and combs clean by washing them with soap every time you wash your hair.

The tips worked great for me. Hope they work for you too.

Cryptic Rants - 3 -Valentine's day 2016

In my last post, I told you that I wasn't ready to meet my Valentine. Today I am going to rant about how useless my valentine's day was.

It all started at 9.34 AM when I woke up and realized that I was late for my meeting already. After a long WhatsApp chat, it was decided that we meet at our teammate's apartment at 10.30 AM and work for 2 hours straight. Obviously, I made it at 11. And we never started working.

After a delicious brunch, stalking facebook, feminist talks, discussing the ways our navels were pierced, the jewelry we wore and the prices of Wedding lehengas (I even sent online inquiries about a few) we finally realized work was not going to happen. We decided to call a few friends of ours and roam around our beautiful campus. I missed weed and him.

I am surprisingly in a good mood apart from the few 'I miss him badly. I want him back.' moments. I found myself smiling for most of the selfies and pictures and felt happy about it. I did not delay in uploading those on facebook since I want him to know that I am not that miserable. I finally shopped for groceries (spent hell loads of money) and returned home.

I think everyone has a tendency to flaunt... their feelings. Like I am doing right now via this blog post. Some do it by posting pictures (me), some do it by writing weird statuses (me), some share weird and feminist posts (me), some tweet (again ME!) and some cry (ME! ME! ME!). I wonder why! Behind every *happy* picture that I have posted on facebook I have never wanted to flaunt the good times but just to set something... or maybe just to make me feel good and to remind myself that life has been kind. Whenever I have written statuses on facebook they have either been for somebody or... I don't remember the time when I actually wrote a status for myself!! :/ I share feminist posts and posts boasting singledom like crazy but somewhere I wish to be with him/someone now. Let's face it...my tweets are stupid. I think that's the frustration talking.

After self-review, I have realized I should be off facebook for a while. Not deactivate my account but just be away from it for a while. It's weird but I really feel lonely this valentine. Lonely but not vulnerable. I think this is just the passing phase. My mind is just adjusting to being single. I never thought it would be that difficult. But.... whatever!

Current song: Kabira
Current mood: Kal se padhai karte hai.
Current thought: Where is that noise coming from?

Cyrptic Rants - 2 - Am I ready yet?

I lied down on my bed for an hour thinking about him. About whatever went wrong last evening. How can I lose that feeling of belongingness after spending amazing time together? We had spent the entire week together... fighting, watching tv, cooking, cuddling... and when the last hour of my stay arrived I felt all distant.
I fell asleep on his shoulders as usual. When I woke up the episode of Suites was almost over. I looked at him. He did not look at me...rather chose not to. I tried to move away. He held me tight...close to his chest... so that he could keep me hooked like he had...for a really long time.
I moved away and got dressed.
I knew it was time to say good-bye. I always knew. I have known this for a while now. But why haven't I been able to? Because I love him? Because I want him? Because I cannot live without him? or because he keeps on coming back every now and then? or because we are addicted to each other?
Nevertheless, I chose to pick up my bag and leave. 'A week of solace' I thought.. since we are not going to meet for a while. We did not gift each other anything for the valentine's day neither did we care to wish each other. We are obviously not in love with each other or we do wish to blurt it out. And this for a guy I have been dating for over a year.
At an age when I should probably me married and having kids, why do I feel this way? Have I lost my emotional quotient or have I lost my brains? Or should I break up for the 100th time and go back to him again? Looking at all the 'arranged marriage proposals' I find my attitude towards love funny.
It is also funny that I do not remember shit about any of my previous valentine's days. I do not even remember celebrating anything or any evening.. and I have been a part of in 2 serious relationships in the past.
After having thought about what my problem is... I have realized that... my mind is too free to even consider a full-fledged relationship. The fear of a guy dictating what I should wear almost kills me. It is going to be slightly difficult after I get married for sure... but whatever! Life is tough. Life is weird. Life is casual. I don't know how much air has been polluted by 'love' this valentine's... but I, for sure, am not. I am not yet ready to meet my valentine...

P.S: I still love love.