Cryptic Rants - 3 -Valentine's day 2016

In my last post, I told you that I wasn't ready to meet my Valentine. Today I am going to rant about how useless my valentine's day was.

It all started at 9.34 AM when I woke up and realized that I was late for my meeting already. After a long WhatsApp chat, it was decided that we meet at our teammate's apartment at 10.30 AM and work for 2 hours straight. Obviously, I made it at 11. And we never started working.

After a delicious brunch, stalking facebook, feminist talks, discussing the ways our navels were pierced, the jewelry we wore and the prices of Wedding lehengas (I even sent online inquiries about a few) we finally realized work was not going to happen. We decided to call a few friends of ours and roam around our beautiful campus. I missed weed and him.

I am surprisingly in a good mood apart from the few 'I miss him badly. I want him back.' moments. I found myself smiling for most of the selfies and pictures and felt happy about it. I did not delay in uploading those on facebook since I want him to know that I am not that miserable. I finally shopped for groceries (spent hell loads of money) and returned home.

I think everyone has a tendency to flaunt... their feelings. Like I am doing right now via this blog post. Some do it by posting pictures (me), some do it by writing weird statuses (me), some share weird and feminist posts (me), some tweet (again ME!) and some cry (ME! ME! ME!). I wonder why! Behind every *happy* picture that I have posted on facebook I have never wanted to flaunt the good times but just to set something... or maybe just to make me feel good and to remind myself that life has been kind. Whenever I have written statuses on facebook they have either been for somebody or... I don't remember the time when I actually wrote a status for myself!! :/ I share feminist posts and posts boasting singledom like crazy but somewhere I wish to be with him/someone now. Let's face it...my tweets are stupid. I think that's the frustration talking.

After self-review, I have realized I should be off facebook for a while. Not deactivate my account but just be away from it for a while. It's weird but I really feel lonely this valentine. Lonely but not vulnerable. I think this is just the passing phase. My mind is just adjusting to being single. I never thought it would be that difficult. But.... whatever!

Current song: Kabira
Current mood: Kal se padhai karte hai.
Current thought: Where is that noise coming from?

Turning 18

I was visiting my cousins and we all decided to watch a late night movie. My younger cousins looked unusually happy and excited during the movie. After the movie ended we went to a CCD (only a coffee could get rid of the headache that the movie gave). Their grin grew even wider. I wondered why small kids would be so elated sipping hot chocolate a little post-midnight while I was dying to finish off the over-priced coffee and go home to retire. I crashed as soon as we reached home. Just then my younger cousins said, “Let’s have a night out. It is almost morning anyway.” My reaction was definitely not a pleasant one to which they said, ”We can have a night out only with you and none else ”. So, a couple of ghost stories welcomed the sun that morning.

“I had a night-out yesterday” might definitely be a fashion statement for kids. Turn 18 and it becomes a regular thing for you. Start working and the most fashionable and pleasant statement is “I slept last night” (because work might not always allow you to have a good night’s sleep). Keeping awake till 2 am is a sense of freedom for kids. Turn 18 and that might be the usual time for you to sleep.

18 brings a sense of freedom to life; sense of ultimate and endless freedom. You get the right to vote, the right to buy a property (though we might have the money for that), to have a boy-friend/girl-friend (or the plural of the same), to move out of the house (mostly done for educational purposes only), to consume alcohol and to smoke (Hell yeah! That sounds cool) and even to get married (not for people who love their independence). 18 is the age when we get experimental in every aspect- highlights, newer haircuts, tattoos and piercings. Late-night parties, alcohol, bigger friend-circles, cigarettes, drugs, spouses, intimacy (in some cases) become every day events. Your parents trust you with the money now and they expect you to learn and handle your own finances. 18 is the age when you think of the word ‘career’ seriously for the first time. Every kid has one bhaiyya/didi that they look up to and whom they find ‘cool’. When you turn 18 you get a chance to become that bhaiyya/didi. 

              

18 is the age when you jump from a lake(junior college) to a sea(degree college). I am sure everyone out there has experienced that major shift in culture then. You are suddenly exposed to the outside world and the change is over-whelming. Life is flattery. Suddenly, some unknown people become the most important people in your life. ‘Relationships’ change every now and then while the ‘Relationship status’ changes more often. We all make a lot of mistakes but believe me you shall laugh about most of them later.

But with great power comes great responsibility. 18 is the age when you can make or break your lives. It takes a great deal of determination to keep away from all the wrong things that you come across (you are no more a ‘juvenile’ for the court). It is upto you to live your life on your own terms and follow your own rules (or not follow any). You are not only given the freedom to take your own decisions but also be responsible for the consequences. If things go wrong you are the one to be blamed (going to ‘that’ party, having that extra peg of vodka, taking semesters lightly etc.). Your security is your responsibility (especially after you drink or do drugs). Everything in moderation is beautiful and everything in extreme is harmful. 18 brings a great deal a freedom but a greater deal of responsibility. You need to realize all the responsibilities and duties in order to be that ‘cool bhaiyya/didi’ that kids can look up to and parents can feel proud of.

Turning 18 is exciting but then so is turning 21 and turning 60. A senior citizen has much more discounts, right? My sincere request to all the kids below 18 is not to dream about becoming adults and enjoy their childhood and to so-called adults above 18 is to be responsible and wise. Just remember, deciding which chocolate to eat is much better than deciding what career is better for you.