Yesterday: Finally I decided to take a shower. My phone never rings and none calls me unless I am in the shower (I bet this is true for a lot of you). As soon as I came out of the shower I checked my phone for no reason and saw a voicemail. I returned the voicemail and Voila! my interview was scheduled for the next day.
Flashback: Around a month ago I received a call from an agency that had no presence on this earth. The recruiting insurance company was a part of the agency or something like that. I still went for the interview for the sake of experience and obviously walked out and refused the offer since it was commission based. This interview call felt fishy too but the company had a good-enough website and an internet presence. Even glassdoor spoke good about it. So I decided to go ahead.
Today:
6:00 AM - My alarm rang. I woke up and decided not to think about him for hours like every day. Instead, I revised a few questions in my mind that I was sure would be asked in the interview. Tell me about yourself, 3 strengths and 3 weaknesses. I could not name 3 weaknesses and my 2nd and 3rd weaknesses were related. Just when my mind was about to wander I decided to wake up and make tea for myself.
6:30 AM - Morning sickness! No, I am not pregnant. The stress has taken a toll and it makes me sick every now and then. I still walked to the kitchen to make tea. My Korean roomie had cooked something the previous night which smelled yummy but my super smell made me puke because of it. Never mind I was fine after 10 minutes.
6:40 AM - Finally started making tea. Brushed my teeth and so on.
7:00 AM - Started ironing clothes... something that I was supposed to do the previous night... but did not do because I was upset because of SOMEONE. I realized how much time I have wasted on him and something that might not ever work out. All this because my mind refuses to give up. Never mind. It took me a really long time to iron my blazer and I could not get it perfect till the end. I have just started learning the tips and tricks of ironing clothes using my very new and fancy iron and it is difficult.
7:40 AM - Finally time to take a dump and shower.
8:00 AM - Nothing can force me out of the shower once I am in... not even an interview. I rushed out and got dressed. This was the time I had decided to leave at and here I was just out of the shower.
8:20 AM - I wore pain (read: formal shoes), locked the door and ran towards the bus stop. Obviously, I could not run and just walk, one step at a time. As soon as I reached the bus-stop I saw a bus going towards Downtown. I had to go to Downtown too was supposed to take the next bus. This bus took the longer route and a hell lot of time to reach the link rail. I realized all this after I boarded the bus. I started calculating the bus stops, time it will take or me to reach the place and so on.
8:45 AM - I saw the bus number signs at every bus stop. The bus that I was supposed to take had the same route according to the signs. I thought it would be a good and a faster idea to get down at the next bus stop and wait for my bus. As soon as this thought entered my mind I got off the bus only to realize that the only bus that came to this route was the bus I got off from. I immediately checked the bus app to check arrivals only to realize that the next bus was 15 minutes later. I wasted 15 minutes of my life standing on the bus-stop because of my stupidity.
At this point, all my planning of reaching on time was ruined. I immediately sent an apology to the HR via email and text. She replied saying it was fine and that they would accommodate. Right when I should have felt happy about it, I realized that I wanted to take a dump again! I mean, my body should know when to send me signals to go and take a dump... certainly not when I am on my way to the interview. I knew I was going to be restless till I reached home.
9:00 AM - The next bus arrived. I was finally on my way.
10:05 AM - After 2 buses, 1 train and 1 uber I finally reached the destination. This place was lesser shady than my flashback interview and everyone was dressed really smart. I quickly calculated that people who wear such smart clothes should either earn well or should have wealthy parents. I was not the only one to be interviewed. The nice girl next to me had already had her first interview and was waiting for her second one.
10:15 AM - I was asked to fill a form after which I was called for an interview by a fairly large person. I want to know if his wife/girlfriend/boyfriend is still alive.
10:20 AM - I was out of my first interview. I thought that was a joke. Never mind. They asked me to wait for the second interview slated at 10:30 AM.
10:30 AM - Interviewers came around and took a few candidates out for a coffee interview. I was wondering what coffee would do to my tummy which was already in a bad state. I was sure I was going to use their restroom today. I struggled to keep my problems below the surface.
10:35 AM - A very tacky woman, wearing a white hairband, silver-color skirt and silver shoes invited me to her cabin. To me, she came right out of a bar after having drunk and smoked pot all night. She stood out amongst all. She had a perfect figure. I can bet $10 on her smoking pot before/after/during work. I even smelled pot in whoever's cabin that was.
Never mind. The funny part was she asked me 3 strengths and 3 weaknesses and the way I fumbled while answering that question in the morning I fumbled here too. Sometimes, I adore my thought-process.
She showed me numbers, told me what they did, told me the salary structure (there was none). This job was commission-based too. And I still wonder how and why I applied for this job. The title was very lucrative (read: Account Manager) but they wanted their Account Managers to go door-to-door and sell products for the clients. I was appalled at my condition. Oops! I did it again! I decided not to use stupid job sites again and not apply to any marketing and sales positions. I am always going to ask the HR about the job description first and if the position is commission based or salary based. One stupidity wasted my entire day. I felt sorry for myself.
11:30 AM - Third round of interview in which I was told that I was basically required to sell products for the clients. I was like.. WOW! This is the reason I have spent 60 lakhs on my Masters. This interview lasted for 4 minutes.
I walked out, called an uber and after changing trains and buses reached the bus stop.
1:00 PM - The walk from the bus stop to home was the hardest. The shoe-bite ached and I walked half a step at a time. Life was/is being brutal.
I realized the pattern of my life. I never check details in the rush of missing opportunities. And I never care about getting hurt. I just go for it because of some reason. It's as if some force calls me and I just do it. I realized I do something even if there is a 0.001% chance of success... be it a relationship or a job prospect or anything else in the world. I am not really afraid of failure. I have never been. I have failed so many times in life that failure is routine and success is exceptional.
Never mind. Lesson learned.
Current thought: I wanna go home and sleep. Whatever happened to taking a dump.
Current song: Gun gun guna re
Current place: On-campus job
Flashback: Around a month ago I received a call from an agency that had no presence on this earth. The recruiting insurance company was a part of the agency or something like that. I still went for the interview for the sake of experience and obviously walked out and refused the offer since it was commission based. This interview call felt fishy too but the company had a good-enough website and an internet presence. Even glassdoor spoke good about it. So I decided to go ahead.
Today:
6:00 AM - My alarm rang. I woke up and decided not to think about him for hours like every day. Instead, I revised a few questions in my mind that I was sure would be asked in the interview. Tell me about yourself, 3 strengths and 3 weaknesses. I could not name 3 weaknesses and my 2nd and 3rd weaknesses were related. Just when my mind was about to wander I decided to wake up and make tea for myself.
6:30 AM - Morning sickness! No, I am not pregnant. The stress has taken a toll and it makes me sick every now and then. I still walked to the kitchen to make tea. My Korean roomie had cooked something the previous night which smelled yummy but my super smell made me puke because of it. Never mind I was fine after 10 minutes.
6:40 AM - Finally started making tea. Brushed my teeth and so on.
7:00 AM - Started ironing clothes... something that I was supposed to do the previous night... but did not do because I was upset because of SOMEONE. I realized how much time I have wasted on him and something that might not ever work out. All this because my mind refuses to give up. Never mind. It took me a really long time to iron my blazer and I could not get it perfect till the end. I have just started learning the tips and tricks of ironing clothes using my very new and fancy iron and it is difficult.
7:40 AM - Finally time to take a dump and shower.
8:00 AM - Nothing can force me out of the shower once I am in... not even an interview. I rushed out and got dressed. This was the time I had decided to leave at and here I was just out of the shower.
8:20 AM - I wore pain (read: formal shoes), locked the door and ran towards the bus stop. Obviously, I could not run and just walk, one step at a time. As soon as I reached the bus-stop I saw a bus going towards Downtown. I had to go to Downtown too was supposed to take the next bus. This bus took the longer route and a hell lot of time to reach the link rail. I realized all this after I boarded the bus. I started calculating the bus stops, time it will take or me to reach the place and so on.
8:45 AM - I saw the bus number signs at every bus stop. The bus that I was supposed to take had the same route according to the signs. I thought it would be a good and a faster idea to get down at the next bus stop and wait for my bus. As soon as this thought entered my mind I got off the bus only to realize that the only bus that came to this route was the bus I got off from. I immediately checked the bus app to check arrivals only to realize that the next bus was 15 minutes later. I wasted 15 minutes of my life standing on the bus-stop because of my stupidity.
At this point, all my planning of reaching on time was ruined. I immediately sent an apology to the HR via email and text. She replied saying it was fine and that they would accommodate. Right when I should have felt happy about it, I realized that I wanted to take a dump again! I mean, my body should know when to send me signals to go and take a dump... certainly not when I am on my way to the interview. I knew I was going to be restless till I reached home.
9:00 AM - The next bus arrived. I was finally on my way.
10:05 AM - After 2 buses, 1 train and 1 uber I finally reached the destination. This place was lesser shady than my flashback interview and everyone was dressed really smart. I quickly calculated that people who wear such smart clothes should either earn well or should have wealthy parents. I was not the only one to be interviewed. The nice girl next to me had already had her first interview and was waiting for her second one.
10:15 AM - I was asked to fill a form after which I was called for an interview by a fairly large person. I want to know if his wife/girlfriend/boyfriend is still alive.
10:20 AM - I was out of my first interview. I thought that was a joke. Never mind. They asked me to wait for the second interview slated at 10:30 AM.
10:30 AM - Interviewers came around and took a few candidates out for a coffee interview. I was wondering what coffee would do to my tummy which was already in a bad state. I was sure I was going to use their restroom today. I struggled to keep my problems below the surface.
10:35 AM - A very tacky woman, wearing a white hairband, silver-color skirt and silver shoes invited me to her cabin. To me, she came right out of a bar after having drunk and smoked pot all night. She stood out amongst all. She had a perfect figure. I can bet $10 on her smoking pot before/after/during work. I even smelled pot in whoever's cabin that was.
Never mind. The funny part was she asked me 3 strengths and 3 weaknesses and the way I fumbled while answering that question in the morning I fumbled here too. Sometimes, I adore my thought-process.
She showed me numbers, told me what they did, told me the salary structure (there was none). This job was commission-based too. And I still wonder how and why I applied for this job. The title was very lucrative (read: Account Manager) but they wanted their Account Managers to go door-to-door and sell products for the clients. I was appalled at my condition. Oops! I did it again! I decided not to use stupid job sites again and not apply to any marketing and sales positions. I am always going to ask the HR about the job description first and if the position is commission based or salary based. One stupidity wasted my entire day. I felt sorry for myself.
11:30 AM - Third round of interview in which I was told that I was basically required to sell products for the clients. I was like.. WOW! This is the reason I have spent 60 lakhs on my Masters. This interview lasted for 4 minutes.
I walked out, called an uber and after changing trains and buses reached the bus stop.
1:00 PM - The walk from the bus stop to home was the hardest. The shoe-bite ached and I walked half a step at a time. Life was/is being brutal.
I realized the pattern of my life. I never check details in the rush of missing opportunities. And I never care about getting hurt. I just go for it because of some reason. It's as if some force calls me and I just do it. I realized I do something even if there is a 0.001% chance of success... be it a relationship or a job prospect or anything else in the world. I am not really afraid of failure. I have never been. I have failed so many times in life that failure is routine and success is exceptional.
Never mind. Lesson learned.
Current thought: I wanna go home and sleep. Whatever happened to taking a dump.
Current song: Gun gun guna re
Current place: On-campus job
