It was late evening and I was surfing the idiot box.
Suddenly I saw this all new talk show hosted by someone from the film industry.
The guest was one of the famous soap movie directors. The movie director spoke about
everything other than his movies and for the first time made sense to me. I was
stumped with what he ended his talk with. It went something like this…
“Everybody cheats. Everybody who gets an opportunity cheats.
Of course, you can expect people from remote parts of the country like from Leh
and Ladakh to be faithful because they don’t meet anybody. But here, where
people meet interesting people all the time, infidelity exists rampantly.”
I’ve been watching SATC lately and hence I know…in some part
of the world monogamy rarely exists but still something like this in a country
like ours took me by surprise. Then I decided to open my eyes a little wider.
My mom started talking to me about a
not-so-comfortable-topic ‘Relationships’. Then I asked her about a
family-friend of ours about whom she thought I had forgotten. Apparently the
latest developments were devastating. The Mr. and Mrs. were married for 28
years…. And… there was another Mrs. for the past 25 years about whom the Mrs. No
1 was not aware of. The Mrs. No. 1 would not have learnt about the relationship
ever if not for constant phone calls on their recent foreign trip.
When I look around I see infidelity at our age all the time
- people two-timing people, one-night stands, casual relationships (the new
trend) and what not. I wonder where all this is taking us in terms of the
faithfulness part. Will Monogamy slowly disappear? Is it wrong for you to ask
your partner not to look out for pleasure from other sources? Where would such couples
stand in terms of trust, security, faithfulness and dedication on a scale of 1
to 10?
The opportunities in today’s world are great. We meet new
and awesome people all the time; more awesome than the ones waiting for us at
home for dinner. But it’s all in the moment. The bigger picture has to be
looked after. There might be moments with someone new all the time but we have
to know what the bigger picture requires us to do and if the new fling fits in
it. Some say cheating partners make better husbands/father because of the guilt
pangs. But it tosses trust, faithfulness and everything else in the dustbin.
Some people cheat just for the rush of it but according to me there is more
rush in togetherness and the emotional bonding that you have with your spouse.
Sometimes emptiness, unhappiness, insecurity and loneliness makes a person
enter into another relationship. In this case it is best to talk to your
partner about your feelings.
Maybe emotional availability is what is required to make a relationship
stronger. Also, we should make sure that the level of attention which we give
our partners should not lessen. It’s difficult taken our careers and busy schedules
but I suppose this is what it takes to be *together*. I hope monogamy survives
this difficult phase because I want it to exist by the time my imaginary ring
becomes a real one.
