P.S I love you

                She woke up with a heavy head. She could not feel anything. She struggled to open her swollen eyes. She looked around. Everything was unusually silent. She saw the mirror. She saw that her swollen eyes were still moist. She was worried to carry the ‘P.S I love you’ hangover to work. Anybody could figure out her bad mood. Everything showed on her face.

                She decided to make herself a large cup of tea. She knew nothing could beat the ‘P.S I love you’ hangover. She had watched the movie ‘P.S. I love you’ the previous night and had decided to draft a last email. Every scene reminded her of him, of the time they spent together, of the many days they spent and of the way he left her…. Unfortunately by choice. She still wondered what went wrong. Every time she looked back she only saw her faults, her mistakes and everything that might have gone wrong.

                She had written the last email with a heavy heart. It was painful to pen your last words to someone who was/is still her life. They were together for a long time and he had been her only love. He was ‘love at first sight’ for her. She had fallen for him even before she knew how to spell ‘love’. Whatever the case was…. Everything was over now. He did not want her back and was probably very happily in love with someone else. And here she was, completely torn.

                In the last email she apologized for everything. She wanted him badly. She wanted to be alive again. She could not think of her future because in a way… she had grown with the relationship. She grew up with him. It was impossible for her to think of her future without him. But she did not ask him to come back. Because she knew she had hurt him badly. And nothing could help now. The first thing she checked in her phone that morning was emails. She did not expect a reply from him. And she had not received any.

                She went to work. She knew she would go mad if she was idle. Thankfully she was not. She kept thinking about him in all the time. In the team meeting thankfully her part was over and so she was free to day-dream. She decided to check her cellphone. Surprise Surprise! He reverted.

                He asked her to be happy with her new life. He asked her not to be sad that it ended but be happy that it happened. He said it did not work out because it was not meant to happen. Her question: Why did it happen at the first place if it was not meant to be? It was a short email but she kept on reading it endlessly. She wanted every word of his to sink in. She wanted her mind to know that she has to move on since he has moved on. She could not react…maybe she did not want to. This reply was expected. And he had written it as a friend and not as her ex.

                She decided to shut her phone and concentrate on the meeting. She had gone numb. She could not believe things had ended like this. He had wished her very best for her future with her new partner. And he did with all the ease. She wanted to laugh it off. She was young and she made mistakes. But she knew falling in love again was a difficult task. She no more struggled to think or to fall in love again. In the movie Holly could not fall in love with anyone after Gerry…and so she knew she would have a tough time too.

Because she knew she would love him till the end.

P.S I love you.