Love/Like/Friendship à
Expectations à
Frustration and Pain à
Mind f***d.
Life feels so scary and apprehensive at times. I feel bound
to a set of ‘Things to do’ these days. I have realized that a diary can help me
out greatly. But I cannot write my emotional to-do in a calendar, can I?
I’ve thought time and again about the part of my life which
has been sabotaged by expectations. I have a really unfortunate habit of
expecting great deals out of people, especially the ones I like. Naturally, it
is not wrong to expect a little out of people. But there is a very thin line
between the two – little expectations and going overboard. And then the
definition of ‘thin’ differs from people to people. ‘Fat is the new thin’ for
me but for some ‘thin ceases to exist’.
Priorities kill Expectations. I failed to understand the
relation earlier. Now I do. ‘Priority’ is the new excuse in town. ‘I did not do
this because I had a different priority’ suddenly made super sense to me when I
heard the usage a couple of times over a couple of days. I wonder if ‘friends/relatives/spouse/crushes’
fit in ‘priority’ or is it strictly ‘personal’? I guess priorities are influenced
by personal choices. Suddenly a thing that would have been the last thing you
would do on earth becomes a priority to avoid an expectation. Can happen!
Happened to me!
Anyway, expectation is a curse for sure…the curse that has
made me the Queen of Mood Swings. I’ve finally decided not to expect anything
or at least to lessen expectations from life. I should realize life is not here
to serve me whatever I want in a platter. That is one thing life never does. I
have learnt this the hard way…still learning…
Mood: Disappointed and Sad.
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