10 things that happen to you in Mid-twenties

1.      Howmuchever your salary is you feel you work for peanuts. Money is never enough. You hardly save and money is too little to even be tracked by an app.

2.      ‘Face Book’ suddenly becomes the ‘Wedding Book’. The notifications speak only of ‘wedding’, ‘engagement’ and ‘pregnancy’.

3.      You travel and you travel a lot to attend people’s marriages. You take random trips and suddenly feel good about life.

4.      You detest going home and attending family functions because all parents/relatives/people who call themselves your family talk only about your marriage. Your marriage seems to be the sole purpose of their lives.

5.      You have at least one dream that seems impossible to attain. And even the attainable ones seem to be impossible. Example – Eating healthy, going to gym regularly, saving money etc.

6.      Friday and Monday are the longest days of the week and they squeeze Saturday and Sunday between them to death.

7.      Every conversation begins or ends with laundry, bills and recipes.

8.      You spend quite some time contemplating your future with the wrong ones or the ones who could have been right. And in the end you feel happy to have chosen the path you did.

9.       You feel you are caught in the wrong field. You always want to switch your industry – from IT to writing, from sports to acting and what not.

10.  You never know what you want out of life. It’s amusing when your parents ask you about it.

Sab Moh Maya hai!

It was an unusual morning. I had unexpectedly scored exceptionally well in a test that I thought I would flunk in (worth mentioning because it is a miracle!). I had sneezed 20 times more than I usually do. Everything was unusual about the situation – the place (my much unpredicted trip to Mumbai), the time (3 AM in the morning), the weather (very cold; something that I never get to experience). I was abnormally laid back about my early morning flight; as if I did not care. My bag was not packed and I had no idea about what I had pack either. It is so not me I thought. I always flip out when I am slated to travel. But today, I wanted life to take its course.

We left at 4, well past the time we should have. We were supposed to discuss all serious things on the way to the airport. My family always takes the pain to drop me off to the airport and waits till I check in, be it any time of the day. It was 4 am and the discussion started. The lists were refined. Our thoughts aligned for the first time. I could not believe it simply because I and my parents never thought on the same lines. None of us would ever compromise on anything. And it was never about ego. Ego does not really exist in my family. It has always been about views – different minds different ideas. So we reached a consensus. And everything was resolved. I was happy that they were happy. My happiness never matters to me. I always want my family to be happy. Period.

The last month had been terrible for me personally. I was forced to take a lot of decisions – all of which were desperate. I wonder how my brain thinks! Evenings were detested for a reason. I spent hours on phone – all crying. My parents were worried. Everyone questioned my impulsive decisions. None supported. I know my decisions were a little haywire. But then I just wanted to realize my dreams. And I was dying a little every time they disagreed. My dream is the only thing I want right now. This very sudden trip to Mumbai was only to make peace, to let my parents know that (howmuchever I go bonkers) I am still theirs.

I checked in and swiftly moved around the airport. I am so used to this place I thought. I can never get lost at this huge airport. My brain starts churning and thinks brilliantly every time I visit that place. I should have taken all my exams at the airport. Who knows I would have aced every one of them! It is as if I belong there. I thought of shopping for some time (yes, the airport is a shopping paradise) but the boarding had already started. I checked in at foursquare, tweeted on twitter and hopped on to the bus that led us the plane. Early morning flights are lovely (courtesy: free breakfast). I never liked the service of this particular airline though (because of the not-so-good-looking hostess and the way they handle luggage) but what the heck! They serve the best breakfast! (I actually dream about their food!). So I comfortably took my seat, made a small talk to the Saudi based south Indian seated beside me (one always sits beside me BTW) and got so engrossed in the movie that I did not even realize that the plane had taken off. I did not even realize the jerk (and that was not because of the pilot's efficiency) but because a) I had grown used to it or b) I had lost all my senses.

And it struck me…how much I am used to the pleasures of my life (unfortunately all of which are expensive!). Frequent flying, chauffeur driven cars, visiting the best restaurants in the city, staying at the best places, buying the most expensive things impulsively – all have become an integral part of life. I realized how material-driven life can be. But a Gucci bag can make us happy just once. You grow over every pleasure of life and sooner or later forget its significance. Maybe that’s when you should destroy the desire. But I guess everyone is neck-deep into the material world already. Everyone wears brands, every kid wants the best of the toys, every girl wants a diamond, every man wants a Roland…and the list is endless. Personally, I am drowned. And I see no signs of recovering either.

I wonder if material pleasure means happiness! It certainly means a lot though. The pleasure is way over-rated; is rated well over happiness. I am not really sure why the world has turned materialistic- competition maybe or societal pressure. Because Mr. Singh has a BMW Mr. Chaddha will buy an Audi! Everyone believes in ‘If you’ve got it…Flaunt it!’. I have realized that this kinda attitude is difficult to be destroyed and is inherited too. ‘Man is greedy’ and we have to accept it. The greed has taken over man and it rules. The desire is so strong that none can really beat it. It has become the way of life and soon it shall drive life. Or maybe it already does. We earn so that we can buy things to flaunt and we try to earn more so that we can buy costlier things the next time. It is a vicious cycle or even worse a ‘Maya jaal’ kinda thing from the story books. A bigger car, lip gloss that shall make your lips fuller, foundation with sheen…sab moh-maya hai! ‘Simple living and high thinking’ said someone zillion years ago. I wonder if it holds true now! As I was trying to define ‘simple’ the pilot spoke in his supremely sensuous voice. I have never paid attention to announcements but today his voice forced me to. We had landed and sunny weather awaited me. I thought of peeping into the cockpit while leaving just to see if the voice and personality matched. But ‘All that glitters is not gold’ stands true for me on every occasion. So I politely left wishing the hostess hoping that my luggage has not been man-handled this time.

Where is the love?!

She opened her eyes. Her journey was far from over. She had fallen asleep amidst the travel sickness and tears. She checked her phone. No message from him. She knew this was a big decision that she had taken. She had promised herself that this would be her last attempt to save the relationship. Family was an obstacle. But he was more important to her than anything else. She had made a decision of visiting him despite the issues. She wanted him in her life.

She reached the bus stand. He had not come to pick her up. She reached the hotel. She wore his favorite dress and his favorite perfume. She dressed up just the way he liked her. 'One last time' she thought. She left to meet him. He knew she would be in the city but he had not made any attempts to get in touch with her.

She called him. He answered. They decided to meet for coffee at a nearby CCD. She spotted him on her way to the coffee shop. She called him. They met. No hugs, no kisses..just a plain 'Hello' with a broken smile. They walked together. The beauty of every moment they spent together had disappeared. She had asked the coffee shop manager to reserve their favorite coffee table for them and had pre-ordered their favorites. Their eyes met for the first time after months. She had the same sparkle in her eyes. Sadly, he seemed distant. They spoke about him - cricket, friends, photos and life. He did not enquire about her. She felt the distance. He was about to leave but she wanted to extend the date. She asked him for a movie. He obliged.

They went to the movie hall. She met her friends. She had come to meet only him and so she had told none. She wanted to flaunt him. He used to be her trophy but today she found him a couple of yards away looking into his phone. He seemed lost. She got the hint. They saw a foreign movie. She did not understand the language. He took all the pains to translate every line to her. She felt the closeness. She held his hand. He did not reciprocate. She was shattered. Her heart was broken into a million pieces. Yet, she was sitting next to him and hence she wanted to savour the moment. She wanted the movie to go forever.

He asked her out for dinner after the movie. They went to their favorite restaurant. She loved the ambiance there. He loved the food. They placed the same order as they always did - Roti, bhindi ki sabzi and Raita. They ate from the same plate. She wished what people said came true - 'Jhootha khaane se pyaar badhta hai.' Nothing seemed to help her pyaar here. It was only deteriorating day by day.

He volunteered to drop her to the hotel after dinner. It was a long ride. It was late at night and the roads were empty. The moon was in it's full glory. The road was lit by the moon-light alone. There was a chill in the air. She sat close to him. She hugged him from behind - like old times. She knew this was heaven - him, her and the moonlight. She wanted life to stop there. Not for once did she think about the complications, the ambitions, the fights...just nothing. It was just him and her and that beautiful moment. She held him tight. She felt this would be their last ride together.

They reached the hotel. Everything had gone well but she knew this was not enough to get him back. She stood quiet and waited for him to speak. He asked, "Why did you come here? We were not talking for a reason." She said, "I know. But i did not want to lose you" and tears rolled on her cheeks. They had fallen in love but they had no future. 2 states does not always succeed. He had decided to stop talking to her - for her good. She listened to him. She never argued with him. His decisions were always obeyed.
He said,"You know it is not going to work out. You should have thought about this before traveling so far." She said, "I love you". He said nothing. Her heart broke. All he said was, "This is the last time we have met." He did this for her. He did this because he knew she would suffer the most if this relationship continued. But he had no alternative than breaking up with her. She cried. He knew he had lost a big chunk of his heart that day. He knew she would make his life more beautiful. But he had no choice. His family came first and he could not betray their trust. They hugged one last time. He left.

She woke up with a heavy head once again. She had slept off crying as usual. She received a call from the travel agency. Her bus back home was right on time and shall pick her up in an hour. She packed her bags and left...never to come back again.