“Please let’s go home now. Just log off.” I told him. The
cab was waiting for us downstairs. It was well past 12 am. He did not pay heed
to my frustrations and continued working. We left the cubicle only to realize
that were not the only ones working late. Many were struggling with codes,
builds and bugs. The next day our Team Lead was very pleased with the ‘Good
Job’ that we had done. She politely asked me to follow her to her cubicle. I
thought the bug that I created the other day was going to fetch me some serious
music but I was wrong. All she said was, “Always remember you are a girl.
Working late is okay while you are still single but all this shall be
impossible for you once you have a family. Always get your priorities right”.
That came as a shock to me. I had been working late since quite some time and
she knew. Later I realized she was right. Working late has become a culture off
late everywhere. And it is a bad one for the long run.
Life is relatively easy when you are a singleton in the IT
industry. You can focus on work without any disturbances since you are just on
your own. I wonder if colleagues can be best friends. There are limitations
everywhere. Also, after a certain period of time all singletons experience the
parental pressure to get married and get settled. Going on-site, accepting work
opportunities abroad etc. for a woman is not as easy as it is for a man. On-site
work opportunity makes the groom-hunt difficult as not many husbands are in
favor of their wives staying abroad for a span of 2-3 years. Being single makes
you vulnerable to many things. You have an increased work pressure and managers
take you for granted since you have no family around and hence no
responsibilities.
Diary of a Family
Man: Get up. Work. Come back. Eat. Sleep.
Diary of a Family
Woman: Get up. Get kids ready. Tiffins. Work. Come back. Make dinner. Take
care of in-laws. Homework for kids. Household chores. Eat. Sleep. Women always
have a longer list of ‘things to do’. The diary is fatter if you are married.
You have to be a super woman in order to handle life this way.
I see a lot of ‘family women’ managing the situations and
pressures every day. Kids, husbands, in-laws, families, teams, managers, work,
calls…it is not easy to do everything all at the same time. You have to cope
with a lot of pressures if you are married. Also, every minute has to be
utilized effectively so that you get enough time and breaks for other personal
matters. Many companies provide with day-care facilities for children of their
employees. Working ladies can be rest assured that their children are taken
care off in those cases. Many companies also have dormitories for pregnant
ladies so that they get enough rest amidst working hours. Pregnant ladies also
get a lot of privileges (they can break the queues!). But that is it. You still
have to work, attend all meetings, calls and manage your teams.
Apart from this we also have one more obstacle in the rat
race we commit ourselves to – harassment. The ‘odd working hours’ culture makes you
vulnerable to a lot of unwanted elements. ‘Sexually colored’ remarks, lewd
comments, offensive statements or even casual flirting at work can create a
hostile environment for a woman. If the culture of a company is not free enough
it might be difficult for a woman to handle such situations. The new law passed
by Indian parliament would not really help. Many companies have their own
version of anti-harassment laws (we all know the Phaneesh Murthy case.) It is upto
the woman herself to take the matters in her own hands and report such incidences.
Anonymity is maintained and harassment cases are handled with utmost care. But
the scars of such incidences take a long time to heal.
The IT industry is, undoubtedly, glamorous. The
independence, money, parties, experience and opportunities are all worth it.
But it takes a lot for a woman to survive in IT than it takes for a man. The
field is not gender-biased and everyone gets equal opportunities purely based
on merit. No quotas, no special treatments and every individual is treated as equal.
Maybe a relaxed job would have been better but I would never have been able to
enjoy the life as I do now. It is the thrill that I look forward to. Life
should be challenging. After spending a year in IT I think it is just perfect
for me.
