Aarushi... A Rockstar

She held a ‘blue blazer’ at school. She was the prettiest and the brightest amongst all. She was passionate about dance and led a dance troupe, ‘Awesome Foursome’, with her friends. She was ambitious and wanted to be ‘famous’. She wished to follow her parents’ footsteps and become a doctor one day. Like any other teen her life revolved around her friends and the internet. She loved her life and her last orkut status said the same. She was like every teenager around – active and playful. Her teachers said she had a very bright future. Her friends loved her. She was an ardent reader and was halfway through the ‘3 mistakes of my life’. But little did she know that she would not be able to learn about all the 3 mistakes that the author made.

‘She’ was ‘Aarushi’ and she was found dead the next morning by her dentist parents. Her wish to be famous should not have been fulfilled this way. The Talwars’ domestic live-in cook was held responsible for the murder. But a day later, his body was found on the terrace of the Talwar residence and the story received its first twist. The evidences, circumstantial evidences, assumptions, reports, verdicts kept on changing and it took four and a half years for the final verdict to be out.

The story had endless twists and turns.
The entire country was divided – Those for Talwar parents, and those against them. The numerous candle light vigils, prayers, faith in judiciary all bore fruit on November 25 when the verdict was out. The Talwars were sentenced life imprisonment for killing their only daughter.

‘Honor Killing’ they said. And yet there are those who believe truth has not been told.

For the entire four and half years the media made a point to publish every piece of literature that they ever found on the case. The investigators were pressurized. The reports were changed. The case was closed and re-opened. A few suspects were put behind bars and then released again for lack of evidence. A lot of things were covered up at first and then brought to light later. The media covered it all. Going by the circumstantial evidence, testimony of witnesses and forensic reports.
Aarushi’s parents were held guilty of her murder. The justice after five years only to be accompanied by an air of terrifying uncertainty. Could the parents, the victim’s family, be the culprits?

We wanted justice for Aarushi like everyone else but not based on circumstantial evidence. Even the CBI has agreed that there was little ‘direct evidence’. It looks like a case of ‘high profile honour killing’ on the outside but when you probe a little deeper you shall understand that there is more to it. Finally, the blame game has come to an end and now Aarushi can finally rest in peace.

Can she?

Aarushi was an adorable child and she would have grown up to become a very beautiful lady. At 14 she was ambitious, loved her life and knew how to live her life fully. Nupur Talwar had once said that she would have loved to live her school life like Aarushi did. Aarushi was adorable but what happened to her was very unfortunate. Going by the confident ‘rockstar’ that she was in school she would definitely not be pleased to be remembered as a ‘victim’. Let us remember Aarushi as the way she was… A Rockstar.

                                

The ‘other’ people: GrandPa

GrandPa...

I reached the station. It was not as crowded as I thought it would be. I started looking out for him. I thought I would see him on the bridge, but could not find him. I went to the place where I saw him last but no luck. He was an almost 70 year old Grandpa; will not call him a beggar. I saw him for the first time 5 years ago. He was sitting on the station with his entire luggage. He surely did not look like a beggar to me. I thought he was waiting for a train and hence passed him off as just another passenger. He caught my attention a few days later after I saw him sitting at the same place.

I always wondered what brought him here, the reason of his loneliness, if he was thrown out by his own son and hence had nowhere to go. Every time I decided to go and talk to him something stopped me. Probably I had no guts to ask him his story or did not have the heart to. I was too afraid to listen to his side of the story. I gave him a part of my pocket money every time I saw him. But today I could not find him and I wondered where he had disappeared – shifted to some other station, found a new home or the worse…was no more.

I was wondering if I could have changed his life if I had mustered a little courage to talk to him; if I could have increased his life span if he was no more; if I could have helped him in any way. But I was helpless myself and had no capacity or courage or whatever. I did help him in whatever way I could but could have done no more.

This made me wonder how selfish we can be; selfish and self-centered. There are a lot of ‘other people’ who need our attention. There are moments in our lives when we shed tears for things like a laptop, better television, money or ‘that’ guy. But those tears are such a waste of time. One selfless act can change a life. If not ours, someone else’s. But lives can be changed. All we have to do is make an effort to go out there and do our bit for the less fortunate; make the world a better place to live in.

Women in IT – Of codes, builds and bugs!

“Please let’s go home now. Just log off.” I told him. The cab was waiting for us downstairs. It was well past 12 am. He did not pay heed to my frustrations and continued working. We left the cubicle only to realize that were not the only ones working late. Many were struggling with codes, builds and bugs. The next day our Team Lead was very pleased with the ‘Good Job’ that we had done. She politely asked me to follow her to her cubicle. I thought the bug that I created the other day was going to fetch me some serious music but I was wrong. All she said was, “Always remember you are a girl. Working late is okay while you are still single but all this shall be impossible for you once you have a family. Always get your priorities right”. That came as a shock to me. I had been working late since quite some time and she knew. Later I realized she was right. Working late has become a culture off late everywhere. And it is a bad one for the long run.

Life is relatively easy when you are a singleton in the IT industry. You can focus on work without any disturbances since you are just on your own. I wonder if colleagues can be best friends. There are limitations everywhere. Also, after a certain period of time all singletons experience the parental pressure to get married and get settled. Going on-site, accepting work opportunities abroad etc. for a woman is not as easy as it is for a man. On-site work opportunity makes the groom-hunt difficult as not many husbands are in favor of their wives staying abroad for a span of 2-3 years. Being single makes you vulnerable to many things. You have an increased work pressure and managers take you for granted since you have no family around and hence no responsibilities.

Diary of a Family Man: Get up. Work. Come back. Eat. Sleep.

Diary of a Family Woman: Get up. Get kids ready. Tiffins. Work. Come back. Make dinner. Take care of in-laws. Homework for kids. Household chores. Eat. Sleep. Women always have a longer list of ‘things to do’. The diary is fatter if you are married. You have to be a super woman in order to handle life this way.

I see a lot of ‘family women’ managing the situations and pressures every day. Kids, husbands, in-laws, families, teams, managers, work, calls…it is not easy to do everything all at the same time. You have to cope with a lot of pressures if you are married. Also, every minute has to be utilized effectively so that you get enough time and breaks for other personal matters. Many companies provide with day-care facilities for children of their employees. Working ladies can be rest assured that their children are taken care off in those cases. Many companies also have dormitories for pregnant ladies so that they get enough rest amidst working hours. Pregnant ladies also get a lot of privileges (they can break the queues!). But that is it. You still have to work, attend all meetings, calls and manage your teams.

Apart from this we also have one more obstacle in the rat race we commit ourselves to – harassment.  The ‘odd working hours’ culture makes you vulnerable to a lot of unwanted elements. ‘Sexually colored’ remarks, lewd comments, offensive statements or even casual flirting at work can create a hostile environment for a woman. If the culture of a company is not free enough it might be difficult for a woman to handle such situations. The new law passed by Indian parliament would not really help. Many companies have their own version of anti-harassment laws (we all know the Phaneesh Murthy case.) It is upto the woman herself to take the matters in her own hands and report such incidences. Anonymity is maintained and harassment cases are handled with utmost care. But the scars of such incidences take a long time to heal.

                 

The IT industry is, undoubtedly, glamorous. The independence, money, parties, experience and opportunities are all worth it. But it takes a lot for a woman to survive in IT than it takes for a man. The field is not gender-biased and everyone gets equal opportunities purely based on merit. No quotas, no special treatments and every individual is treated as equal. Maybe a relaxed job would have been better but I would never have been able to enjoy the life as I do now. It is the thrill that I look forward to. Life should be challenging. After spending a year in IT I think it is just perfect for me.