10 Tips to my daughter

1.       Never let anyone touch you the wrong way. Not even your father.

2.       If someone hits you…hit them back.

3.       Always exercise your right to voice.

4.       Sex is not just another ‘cool’ thing to do. Being a virgin till you get married is cool.

5.       Always dress for yourself. Not to impress others.

6.       Love unconditionally. Love a guy who loves you in pajamas and not just in stilettos.

7.       Don’t let yourself be used by someone else. You are not a paper. You are precious.

8.       Drink wisely. It’s okay to experiment but be safe.

9.       Marry only when you are sure. Not when we want you to.

10.   Tell me everything.

Windows Phone 8 Apps - Have you tried these yet?

      1. Toshl finance

Cannot track your money? The month-end arrives in the middle of the month? Yes? Toshl finance is the right app for you. This app lets you manage your incomes and expenses seamlessly. It lets you maintain your budget and export your data to pdf, excel or google docs. What more? You can also access your finances from your desktop using toshl.com.

2. 627.AM

627.AM is a reminder + notes + alarm + forecast app. It has a wonderful user interface and best fits as your daily assistant. The application is very simple but beautifully combines weekly forecast, independent daily alarms (with snooze of 9 minutes) and to-do list on a single screen.

3. Insider

The Insider app provides you with an array of new features. The app helps you know about the battery status, stopwatch, countdown, phone information, memory usage, world clock etc. What more? You can download the last amazing 7 bing wallpapers to your phone. The app also provides you with shortcuts for flashlight, wifi, lockscreen etc. It also helps you compare all the Windows phones available in the market.

4. Listropy

Forget no more! Listropy lets you make to-do lists effortlessly. You can make a number of lists and visit them all by a single swipe. It also allows you to keep a track of the done items from the list. Overall Listropy is fast and clear to use.

5. Jarvis

Love Ironman? Download Jarvis! Jarvis, your personal assistant, is designed to be more than just a conversational tool. The app can help you with a variety of tasks with the prescribed commands. The app helps you with controlling your phone, discovering places nearby, navigating the maps, playing music etc. Do try the ‘Surprise me’ command. Jarvis is definitely full of surprises!

Over think-ing!

So I reached office unusually early today and had breakfast on time too (which happened after 7 months maybe). I was constantly reminding myself to be extremely humble to everyone (mom asked me to be- blame it on my bad horoscope). So… we were at the breakfast table and I told this to my cubie. I told her how my pearl (which is supposed to suppress my anger) has not really been working at all. I have been acting like a volcano quite literally and am sort of fed up of it. She said, “But when do you get angry?? I cannot believe that you do!” Well, I was very happy that she thought so high of me but I had no way of explaining my idiotic behavior to her. Anyway, the day progressed.

I was trying to concentrate on my ‘almost no work’ when I decided to enter the bad world (read: office communicator). I’ve kept away from it for a lot of reasons. Primarily because I wanted to keep to myself. It’s irritating at times to entertain people you’ve been running away from (long list for me). Somehow I ended up logging in and pinging a close friend of mine. I had to blurt things out. A lot has been bothering me these days. Life is not really rosy. So anyway, just when I thought I was feeling good about myself my cubie said, “Chalo, chocolates leke aaye. X is leaving today.”

I looked at her in horror. This was the nth guy who was leaving my wing in the past few weeks. My wing has witnessed at least one ‘Last working day - Sweets at my desk’ every week in the past few weeks. This week had been marked too. I had met X at the Indian ocean concert. I checked my mail box to see if he had invited me. There lied the 2 emails… ‘Last day at work’ and ‘Sweets at my desk – FCFS!’.

We went to see him. Yes, I took 2 extra chocolates (as usual). I tried to talk to him like this…

“Congrats. Where to?”, I asked with a super sad face somehow.

“Bangalore.”

“So, you had appeared for all those exams?” (P.S: I had no idea what those exams are.)

“Yes.” He said this as he was attending a prank call from his regional friends.

My cubie entered the conversation asking if he joined as a PO. I had no idea what it was. I realized that I had no knowledge about any other sector. But it is okay. As if I had a lot of knowledge about the sector I was working for I thought.

While returning to my desk I shared one of the 3 picked up chocolates with my senior (works as a bribe so that he does not give me work).  I reached my second home. I found myself staring at his ‘Last day email’. I wonder why I was so shocked! I guess I was more worried than shocked. Not because another person I knew was leaving but because I had no idea about my future. I saw dreams, worked for them, and that’s it. I haven’t really seen a ray of hope yet. My nerves felt tensed. My future was in darkness. Probably that is what has been bothering me so much for the last few days I thought. I had been a mobile volcano for the last few days and felt the most miserable in ages. Miserable, helpless, whatever you call it.

The uncertainties were bothering me. My plans have been completely random for the past few months – from deciding to get married to deciding against it to planning to study to pursuing random crushes… it has all been super random. My life can as well be the new definition of random.

Suddenly, I found myself worrying about the pani puri from the FC. Time was running out and it would be finished soon. I decided to run towards my new goal. And I missed out on that too; it was over by the time I started pursuing it. I returned disappointed to find that I did not really have much work to do. So I decided to go a little extra mile and wrote a user story for a scenario not covered. Ofcourse I was happy about it.

My boss came over. I showed him that scenario (since I had used my brains for it). I asked him my doubts (I am sure he will remember me forever as his most doubt-full team member). And he told me that the extra scenario I had written would only spoil the estimate and was unwanted. I was disappointed again since that was the only story I had used my rotting brain for! He told me that I had over-thought about the scenario and that I needed to stop thinking at all.

He was right. I had over thought a lot. Not just about the scenario but about life too. I had been super tensed over the past few days for all sorts of reasons. I had always been an inch away from crying because of the uncertainty which was not all that bad. I saw dreams, worked for it, and had done whatever I could have. I had played well and the ball was in God’s court now… or luck’s court… or in whomsoever it may concern’s court. I just have to keep calm and wait for the ball to be thrown back at me. Then I could both stand dumb and let it hit me right on my face or be prepared and hit it back wonderfully. I decided not to think and keep calm.

I realized the power of ‘over thinking’. It has all the power to wipe off sanity and let all the bad thoughts flow. It just makes you miserable. It makes you wonder…and wonder…till you start thinking negative and cry about the whole situation (unnecessarily). The hypothetical thinking does not really work well at times. Sometimes, I feel it is better not to think at all rather than over-think. That was not going to help me in my scenarios though.

Anyway, I deleted that scenario, saved the document and shut down my computer. I thought it was time for me to live and let live my brain too. I realized my misery flew away in no time after I stopped over-thinking. And, of course I realized that my pearl had not stopped working after all.

HIM v/s HER

I heard the door bell. The kaamwali bai worked as an alarm clock for me for the past 2 years. I looked around. He slept peacefully. I gave him a peck and got up to welcome the bai.

We were on the breakfast table. I buttered the bread for him. He hid behind the paper. I had kept the gift beside his plate. He did not notice. It was Valentine’s Day and our 2^nd year anniversary. I knew he had forgotten, like the engagement ring on the day of our engagement and the restaurant bookings on our first wedding anniversary.  He asked for fruit juice. I asked him to fetch it from the fridge. There lied another gift, his favorite pack of rum chocolates wrapped in a shining silver paper so that he doesn’t miss it. This strategy would also help him see the ‘I love you’ note on the refrigerator door. He walked to the refrigerator, opened it, looked for the fruit juice and calmly walked back to the table. He had missed the chocolates too.

I was amazed by his lack of attention. How could he miss 3 straight clues? I decided to ask him straight. 

“Honey, what plans today?”

 “Oh! I forgot to tell you. We have to go to my boss’s dinner party tonight. Be ready by 7. I’ll send the car” He said as he picked up the briefcase and walked towards the door. I followed him. He kissed me on my forehead as usual and left.

I hoped that the boss’s party was all a cover up and something better was on the plate. I checked my phone calendar. “Rohan’s Boss’s party at 7 PM today. Wear something black!” it said. I was not worried about the boring party though. I was sure he would read the note that I had left for him in the lunch box. And he would definitely see his emails. I had written a love email for him. I decided to wait for his call.

It was 2 PM and he hadn’t called yet. I decided to check on him. He couldn’t have missed the email and letter both! I decided to start the conversation with the mutter paneer that I cooked.

“Hey hon. How was the lunch? Was the sabzi okay?”                                                                         

“Oh hi.. Umm… I haven’t really had lunch yet. No time. I have been jumping from one meeting to another. And then I had to go to this meeting with the caterer for tonight’s party. I was too full after the tasting thing itself. I’ll eat it after this meeting maybe and let you know? I am sure it would be awesome as always. How have you been? Had lunch?”

“Yea.. Had.. Was just about to leave for the classes now. So… lot of work?”

“Oh yes! So much of work I tell you. Imagine my assistant hasn’t been able to get my account unlocked yet. It’s all a mess. Anyway, be ready at 7. See ya.”

“Okay, bye. Love you.”                                                                              

He had cut the call before he could hear the ‘love you’ part. So the letter in the lunch box and email were a bad idea. I should have done a feasibility analysis before planning for the gifts. My Valentine’s Day and 2^nd Wedding Anniversary were now effectively ruined.

**************************************************************************

 She woke me up with a peck as usual. Today was our anniversary and the Valentine’s Day, a day I had been planning for since a long time now.

We were at the breakfast table. Not wishing her was a part of my plan. It would be too routine to wake her up with a gift I thought. I wanted to surprise her. I knew she would be thinking about the engagement ring and the missed out dinner reservation. But I really wanted an exquisite ring for her and so I had chosen a platinum-diamond ring from the catalogue. The jewelry store guy promised me the ring one day before the engagement but he did not keep his word. Thank God for my cousin who picked up the ring right when we were about to exchange rings. None knows this though. Another cousin of mine covered up the whole ring thing saying that I had forgotten it in my car. I have been labeled as ‘forgetful’ ever since. And I had not forgotten the hotel dinner reservations either. I had just goofed up again and booked tables at the wrong hotel! These hotels sound so similar at times. The hotel I booked for just had a ‘Grande’ after its name (and I was asked to book a hotel which was not ‘Grande’ of course)! Yes, she still remembers that as one of the few ‘most embarrassing moments’ of her life. We had to wait for an hour for the dinner table that day. It was bad only because it was out first wedding anniversary.

She buttered toast for breakfast as usual. She kept a small gift beside my plate. I had spotted it long time ago. While I hid myself behind the paper I was wondering if it was the cuff-links that I had my eye on.  She asked me to fetch fruit juice for us from the refrigerator. I saw the ‘I love you’ note as I walked toward the fridge. That brought a beautiful smile on my face. But I chose not to react. I saw the box of chocolates neatly wrapped in a silver paper. I knew they were the rum chocolates I loved. That was three gifts straight. But I chose not to respond and go with my plan. I left soon after.

My extremely inefficient assistant escorted me to the meeting room as soon as I reached work. She had not been able to get my email box unlocked since last night. String of meetings followed. Some stupid people want me to sit through and analyze everything they say, which was crap! I had arranged for a surprise Anniversary party in the evening for our close friends. Yes! My boss’s party was a lie. I knew she would doubt so I had synced our calendars to it. I wanted her to wear something black. The diamond set that I was going to gift her later in the evening would go perfectly with that. I had to visit the hotel in the afternoon for the wine and food tasting. I had missed appointments with them earlier so I had to make it that afternoon. The food was going to be awesome. Everything on the menu was her favorite. And so I had missed lunch. She called up enquire about it and I couldn’t lie. So I just told her the truth with some major data hiding. I was in the hotel and the manager was approaching me with the cake designs as I was talking to her. I hanged up immediately when the manager started to talk. I think I missed her ‘love you’ part.  Never mind, she shall know tonight that I loved her too.

*******************************************************************************

It was 7 pm. The car arrived. She wore his favorite Black dress. With no faith at all in her husband she got into the car. She arrived at the hotel. ‘His boss is a big shot’ she thought. She entered the party hall. The hall was lit with beautiful, dim, romantic lights. He walked towards her and said “Happy Anniversary honey.” The cake arrived. She was pleasantly shocked. He gifted her the diamond set that she always wanted. It went perfectly with her black dress as he had thought. Her Valentine’s Day was not as bad as she thought it was. In fact, it was perfect.

Sab Moh Maya hai!

It was an unusual morning. I had unexpectedly scored exceptionally well in a test that I thought I would flunk in (worth mentioning because it is a miracle!). I had sneezed 20 times more than I usually do. Everything was unusual about the situation – the place (my much unpredicted trip to Mumbai), the time (3 AM in the morning), the weather (very cold; something that I never get to experience). I was abnormally laid back about my early morning flight; as if I did not care. My bag was not packed and I had no idea about what I had pack either. It is so not me I thought. I always flip out when I am slated to travel. But today, I wanted life to take its course.

We left at 4, well past the time we should have. We were supposed to discuss all serious things on the way to the airport. My family always takes the pain to drop me off to the airport and waits till I check in, be it any time of the day. It was 4 am and the discussion started. The lists were refined. Our thoughts aligned for the first time. I could not believe it simply because I and my parents never thought on the same lines. None of us would ever compromise on anything. And it was never about ego. Ego does not really exist in my family. It has always been about views – different minds different ideas. So we reached a consensus. And everything was resolved. I was happy that they were happy. My happiness never matters to me. I always want my family to be happy. Period.

The last month had been terrible for me personally. I was forced to take a lot of decisions – all of which were desperate. I wonder how my brain thinks! Evenings were detested for a reason. I spent hours on phone – all crying. My parents were worried. Everyone questioned my impulsive decisions. None supported. I know my decisions were a little haywire. But then I just wanted to realize my dreams. And I was dying a little every time they disagreed. My dream is the only thing I want right now. This very sudden trip to Mumbai was only to make peace, to let my parents know that (howmuchever I go bonkers) I am still theirs.

I checked in and swiftly moved around the airport. I am so used to this place I thought. I can never get lost at this huge airport. My brain starts churning and thinks brilliantly every time I visit that place. I should have taken all my exams at the airport. Who knows I would have aced every one of them! It is as if I belong there. I thought of shopping for some time (yes, the airport is a shopping paradise) but the boarding had already started. I checked in at foursquare, tweeted on twitter and hopped on to the bus that led us the plane. Early morning flights are lovely (courtesy: free breakfast). I never liked the service of this particular airline though (because of the not-so-good-looking hostess and the way they handle luggage) but what the heck! They serve the best breakfast! (I actually dream about their food!). So I comfortably took my seat, made a small talk to the Saudi based south Indian seated beside me (one always sits beside me BTW) and got so engrossed in the movie that I did not even realize that the plane had taken off. I did not even realize the jerk (and that was not because of the pilot's efficiency) but because a) I had grown used to it or b) I had lost all my senses.

And it struck me…how much I am used to the pleasures of my life (unfortunately all of which are expensive!). Frequent flying, chauffeur driven cars, visiting the best restaurants in the city, staying at the best places, buying the most expensive things impulsively – all have become an integral part of life. I realized how material-driven life can be. But a Gucci bag can make us happy just once. You grow over every pleasure of life and sooner or later forget its significance. Maybe that’s when you should destroy the desire. But I guess everyone is neck-deep into the material world already. Everyone wears brands, every kid wants the best of the toys, every girl wants a diamond, every man wants a Roland…and the list is endless. Personally, I am drowned. And I see no signs of recovering either.

I wonder if material pleasure means happiness! It certainly means a lot though. The pleasure is way over-rated; is rated well over happiness. I am not really sure why the world has turned materialistic- competition maybe or societal pressure. Because Mr. Singh has a BMW Mr. Chaddha will buy an Audi! Everyone believes in ‘If you’ve got it…Flaunt it!’. I have realized that this kinda attitude is difficult to be destroyed and is inherited too. ‘Man is greedy’ and we have to accept it. The greed has taken over man and it rules. The desire is so strong that none can really beat it. It has become the way of life and soon it shall drive life. Or maybe it already does. We earn so that we can buy things to flaunt and we try to earn more so that we can buy costlier things the next time. It is a vicious cycle or even worse a ‘Maya jaal’ kinda thing from the story books. A bigger car, lip gloss that shall make your lips fuller, foundation with sheen…sab moh-maya hai! ‘Simple living and high thinking’ said someone zillion years ago. I wonder if it holds true now! As I was trying to define ‘simple’ the pilot spoke in his supremely sensuous voice. I have never paid attention to announcements but today his voice forced me to. We had landed and sunny weather awaited me. I thought of peeping into the cockpit while leaving just to see if the voice and personality matched. But ‘All that glitters is not gold’ stands true for me on every occasion. So I politely left wishing the hostess hoping that my luggage has not been man-handled this time.

Aarushi... A Rockstar

She held a ‘blue blazer’ at school. She was the prettiest and the brightest amongst all. She was passionate about dance and led a dance troupe, ‘Awesome Foursome’, with her friends. She was ambitious and wanted to be ‘famous’. She wished to follow her parents’ footsteps and become a doctor one day. Like any other teen her life revolved around her friends and the internet. She loved her life and her last orkut status said the same. She was like every teenager around – active and playful. Her teachers said she had a very bright future. Her friends loved her. She was an ardent reader and was halfway through the ‘3 mistakes of my life’. But little did she know that she would not be able to learn about all the 3 mistakes that the author made.

‘She’ was ‘Aarushi’ and she was found dead the next morning by her dentist parents. Her wish to be famous should not have been fulfilled this way. The Talwars’ domestic live-in cook was held responsible for the murder. But a day later, his body was found on the terrace of the Talwar residence and the story received its first twist. The evidences, circumstantial evidences, assumptions, reports, verdicts kept on changing and it took four and a half years for the final verdict to be out.

The story had endless twists and turns.
The entire country was divided – Those for Talwar parents, and those against them. The numerous candle light vigils, prayers, faith in judiciary all bore fruit on November 25 when the verdict was out. The Talwars were sentenced life imprisonment for killing their only daughter.

‘Honor Killing’ they said. And yet there are those who believe truth has not been told.

For the entire four and half years the media made a point to publish every piece of literature that they ever found on the case. The investigators were pressurized. The reports were changed. The case was closed and re-opened. A few suspects were put behind bars and then released again for lack of evidence. A lot of things were covered up at first and then brought to light later. The media covered it all. Going by the circumstantial evidence, testimony of witnesses and forensic reports.
Aarushi’s parents were held guilty of her murder. The justice after five years only to be accompanied by an air of terrifying uncertainty. Could the parents, the victim’s family, be the culprits?

We wanted justice for Aarushi like everyone else but not based on circumstantial evidence. Even the CBI has agreed that there was little ‘direct evidence’. It looks like a case of ‘high profile honour killing’ on the outside but when you probe a little deeper you shall understand that there is more to it. Finally, the blame game has come to an end and now Aarushi can finally rest in peace.

Can she?

Aarushi was an adorable child and she would have grown up to become a very beautiful lady. At 14 she was ambitious, loved her life and knew how to live her life fully. Nupur Talwar had once said that she would have loved to live her school life like Aarushi did. Aarushi was adorable but what happened to her was very unfortunate. Going by the confident ‘rockstar’ that she was in school she would definitely not be pleased to be remembered as a ‘victim’. Let us remember Aarushi as the way she was… A Rockstar.

                                

A story I was not prepared for...

Our friend has taken a Big Leap and assisted the Director of Thira. We all planned, unplanned, canceled, planned again and made it to the theatre. It was a late night show but still was well-received. Somehow I was not really bothered about the pending work and making it to work the next morning.  A lot of our friends were watching it for the second time. As usual, I was the only non-mallu in the gang. The fact that Thira is a malyalam movie didn’t matter much since a large part of the movie is in hindi/English.

The movie started off fast paced. It was exhilarating right from the first scene. The director did not really believe on building up the movie, which I found awesome. The plot revolves around Shobhana and Dhyan’s search for the missing girls. The flow of the story is logical and amazing. The movie keeps you at the edge of your seat totally.

But I realized I was not at all prepared to see the building up scenes of the movie. When I was younger I consciously avoided every scene that would even remotely depress me. I, somehow, cannot see anything horror, obnoxious, sad or anything that is demeaning to women. Maybe that or I don’t have the guts to face the harsh reality of life (most probable reason). Dhyan, the hero, goes to a factory and manages to find 2 girls who are captivated in the basement (Cannot describe the scene since I closed my eyes after seeing the first shot). He manages to free those 2. I wanted Dhyan to go and search and free the other girls who might have been captivated in that factory too! After all it was such a BIG factory. My mind was screaming at him to go and search for others. As the movie progressed my mind was still stuck in the dungeon scene and wondering what the girls must have gone through. Though it was just a movie and the asst.director was right beside me (to clear my never-ending doubts) I had completely drowned in the incidence that the scene portrayed.

A few scenes later, Shobhana and Dhyan find pieces of clothes with messages written ‘Help Me’, ‘Call my dad’ etc. I was immediately reminded of the bedtime stories my Grandpa told. ‘The escape of a girl from her kidnappers’ was my favorite. He obliged to all my multiple requests of reciting me the same story. Now I understood why. That story was probably his way of educating me and my brother of what should be done in such situations. Probably, the girls who wrote messages on clothes also had heard the story. I secretly wished all of their messages were read earlier and they all were safe in the shadows of their family.

                                                    

Towards the end of the movie, we realized that the kidnapped girls were actually going to be a part of a ‘party’. The who ’s who of the industry were to be present and they actually had the privilege of selecting girls they wanted to spend the night with (read: assault/molest)  on a very hi-tech iPad. The scene sent a chill down my spine. There was alcohol, handcuffs, ropes and what not to please the honchos.  Probably there was everything that would make the night wild and worthwhile for them. Before I realized I had freaked out. Such scenes were shown earlier in different movies too but today I saw them with a different perspective. I was thinking about the million girls who go through all this all over the world; girls who lose their innocence before they even know; girls who lose their innocence before they even realize.

Even if these scenes were just an integral part of the movie such things do make headlines and are often forgotten over a period of time. ‘Human Trafficking’ is prevalent. There are people in this world who equate ‘girls’ with ‘toys’. We have to accept the fact that people see us as an ‘object of pleasure’ many a times. And the threat is not always external. Daughters have been raped by their fathers, girlfriends have been molested by their boyfriends, wives have been forced by their husbands and the list goes on. Today, I wonder if being vigilant is enough for some circumstances cannot be avoided.

                                      

The end of the movie was all happy and I was relieved. All the girls were rescued. The movie dealt with the topic very well. And this was the first movie of this kind that I saw. But the topic dwelled in my mind long enough to pen this down. I wish I were a SuperWoman and could do something about it! I wish all of us were SuperWomen and could put an end to the unjust done towards us all over the world! I hope that day comes soon when the devils become lesser stone-hearted and do not see women only as an object of pleasure; when they think about the heart inside instead of just staring at the chest. Waiting for that day. God Speed.